NARRATOR (v.o.)
Hey, you! Yes, I'm speaking to you. Are you listening? Good. Don't you think it's time to consolidate those debts? All the worry, stress, calls from the collectors at dinnertime. Aren't you afraid to check the mail, concerned that yet another bill or collection notice is waiting for you? And, on a more personal note, if I may, how did you even get so much debt without ever taking out student loans? What do you have to show for it? And wasn't the point of not taking out student loans in the first place to avoid being in this situation? Luckily, your to-this-point complete failure to grasp fiscal responsibility as a concept can be solved with one quick phone call. One of our dedicated experts will help pull all of your wide-ranging, various debts into the manageable and affordable debt-reduction plan that's right for you! Didn't you hear me? Pick up the phone and call today, before you prove your grandparents right!
Now, if you'll allow me to indulge myself for a moment. Imagine, if you will, that you are approaching a crosswalk. The light is clearly red, and there is also an accompanying red hand. Ignoring the racist overtones of needing the white man to tell you its safe to walk for a moment, we can all admit that we've been trained not to walk when the red hand says not to walk. But suppose that as you approach this crosswalk, you see a small group of people walking in spite of the red hand's warning. If you're like many young urban people, you will assume this is a sure sign that it is, in fact, safe to walk across the street. But, how can you be sure these people can be trusted? How do you know that they are not legally blind? Maybe they're part of a suicide pact. Why are you willing to put so much trust in the idea that they're not part of a suicide pact, when the stakes are so high for yourself?
Anyway, call today, before it's too late. Back to your regularly schedule programming.
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