Giving Stuff Back

Characters
Brady
Sylvia
A waiter/waitress

SYLVIA and BRADY at dinner.

BRADY: I thought you hated duck.

SYLVIA: I thought you were a vegetarian.

BRADY: Don't change the subject.

SYLVIA: How am I changing the subject? The subject is changes in one of our dietary habits that the other one is surprised by.

BRADY: Whatever.

SYLVIA: Don't whatever me. When did you start eating meat again?

BRADY: Like three months ago.

SYLVIA: Why?

BRADY: I don't know. It was too much hassle.

SYLVIA: That's why?

BRADY: That's why.

SYLVIA: Seriously?

BRADY: Seriously.

SYLVIA: Wow.

BRADY: Why wow?

SYLVIA: I just . . . it meant more to you than that.

BRADY: Obviously not.

SYLVIA: I thought it did.

BRADY: Well, it obviously didn't.

SYLVIA: Obviously.

(pause)

SYLVIA: This is stupid.

BRADY: It was your idea.

SYLVIA: Well, its stupid.

(pause)

BRADY: (pulls a bag from under his chair) Here. Its your book, that picture frame, the sweater and a sock. You didn't say anything about the picture frame on the phone but --

SYLVIA: --Jesus.

BRADY: --you just didn't rememb-- Jesus what?

SYLVIA: Do we have to do this now?

BRADY: I thought that's why we were here.

SYLVIA: I mean - I don't mean . . . yes. I mean, do you have to this now - before dinner?

BRADY: Sorry. I didn't mean --

SYLVIA: Jesus. (takes bag, put it under her chair)

BRADY: --Jesus! I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. I didn't know there was a certain time . . . set aside . . .

SYLVIA: There's not. Just forget it.

BRADY: Whatever.

SYLVIA: Don't whatever me.

BRADY: I . . . uh. Okay.

SYLVIA: Come on.

BRADY: I . . . wh . . . uh.

(pause)

(enter WAITER)

WAITER: Two duck clubs with mashed potatoes. Would you like more wine?

BRADY: Yes, please.

SYLVIA: I'll take some, too.

BRADY: Why don't we just get a bottle?

SYLVIA: I don't --

BRADY: It doesn't make sense for us to keep buying the same wine by the glass.

SYLVIA: Fine.

WAITER: A bottle of cabernet, then?

BRADY: Yes, please. Thank you.

(WAITER exits)

(pause)

BRADY: You remember that cabernet we had at Megan's?

SYLVIA: Yeah. That French one?

BRADY: It was Twin Fin.

SYLVIA: Yeah.

BRADY: Twin Fin's American.

SYLVIA: I thought . . . no, it had a screw top. I distinctly --

BRADY: Twin Fin does have a screw top.

SYLVIA: I thought it was French.

BRADY: The French one you're thinking of was merlot. And it didn't have a screw top.

SYLVIA: No - at Megan's, it was French. I remember.

BRADY: We had that merlot at Megan's for New Year's. I'm talking about Peter's graduation party. We had Twin Fin cabernet.

SYLVIA: Peter's graduation party? I don't think I went to that.

BRADY: Yes, you did. And we drank Twin Fin cabernet. It was the first wine you'd seen with a screw top. I rememb --

SYLVIA: I remember the screw top. I just always thought it was French.

BRADY: Well it wasn't. Its American.

(pause)

(BRADY takes a bite of his sandwich.)

SYLVIA: I still can't believe you eat meat.

BRADY: I can't believe you don't remember Peter's graduation party.

(WAITER returns, pours wine, leaves bottle on table, exits. As he leaves, both of them show non-verbal gratitude.)

(pause)

SYLVIA: I can't stand being around you and not being able to kiss you or say "I love you."

BRADY: You can say it. I love you.

SYLVIA: No, I don't -- don't -- no, I can't. Please, don't.

BRADY: I do. I love you.

SYLVIA: Then why can't we --

BRADY: No. You know why. It doesn't work.

SYLVIA: But, if you love me and I --

BRADY: Don't be so naive.

SYLVIA: I'm --

BRADY: Don't. Just . . . don't. Please.

SYLVIA: Sorry.

(pause)

SYLVIA: Have you been with anyone since we broke up?

BRADY: Yes.

SYLVIA: Is it someone I know?

BRADY: Yes. Its Emily.

SYLVIA: Jesus. I didn't want to know who.

BRADY: Sorry.

SYLVIA: Its . . . are you still together?

BRADY: No. We broke up.

SYLVIA: Oh. I'm sorry.

BRADY: Don't be. I'm not. It didn't work. I knew it --

SYLVIA: Please.

BRADY: --I just kept comparing her to you.

(pause)

SYLVIA: Why would you tell me that?

(pause)

BRADY: How many people have you been with since we --

SYLVIA: I don't want to talk about it.

BRADY: You asked me.

SYLVIA: You didn't have to answer.

BRADY: That's such bullshit.

SYLVIA: What? You didn't.

BRADY: Whatever.

SYLVIA: Don't whatever me.

BRADY: Uh . . . fu . . . shi . . . okay. Fine.

(pause)

SYLVIA: This is stupid.

(pause)

BRADY: I know.

(pause)

SYLVIA: So, why don't we just go.

(pause)

BRADY: Okay.

(pause)

(BRADY exits)