The Good Doctor

Characters
The Doctor - a fat, mid 30's woman with obvious cleavage
J.R. - a man in his early 20's with a straight face
K.C. - a man in his mid 20's with a southern accent

A hotel bar, in Chicago. THE DOCTOR, JR, and KC are sitting around a table, drinking beer.

DOCTOR: Jeff said you guys all were in some class together in Delaware or something.

JR: Jeff is a serious opiate addict. He's always making shit up. It was probably a hallucination.

DOCTOR: He is? No, he's not. Is he?

KC: Could be. I don't know these guys.

DOCTOR: I thought you all knew each other.

JR: We do, now.

DOCTOR: How?

JR: Well, I'm Jeff's dealer.

DOCTOR: Why would you be his dealer?

JR: Huh? Oh. The money's good. Anyway, we're here on business. Andrew, that prep-school asshole with the sideburns that left a minute ago, is our Michigan contact.

DOCTOR: He and I were making out. I got up to go to the bathroom and he just left.

JR: Now you know why our Michigan division is doing so badly.

(pause)

JR: I wouldn't take it personally. He's a complete speedfreak and he behaves erratically.

DOCTOR: He does speed?

JR: Are you kidding? He's on speed right now.

DOCTOR: He is not!

JR: Oh, yes he is. We came up here . . . Jeff and I. . .to deal with this very problem.

DOCTOR: You know I'm a doctor.

JR: Then you should recognize speedfreaks and opiate addicts. (drinks) Actually, it'll be good to have a doctor around to keep Andrew from bleeding to death when I cut off his fingers.