They All Say That

Characters
Gio, an early twenties man
Nate, Gio's best friend

GIO and NATE at a table, over beers or coffee

Gio: I tell all our mutual friends that it's going well.

Nate: But . . .

Gio: It isn't going well.

Nate: It isn't going well.

Gio: It's going very badly.

Nate: Then why tell all your mutual friends that it's going well?

Gio: I have no idea.

Nate: You tell me it's going very badly.

Gio: Well, it is.

Nate: But why tell me that?

Gio: Why? Because, first of all, I tell you everything and second of all, you don't know her.

Nate: What's that got to do with it?

Gio: It has everything to do with it. To a man, the people who know us both think we're perfect for each other. I need an opinion that doesn't have that bias.

Nate: I can definitely provide that. I think she's terrible for you.

Gio: That's what I mean. That's why I tell you.

Nate: But that's my bias.

Gio: I think I just don't . . . I take things too seriously. I am taking this too seriously. I am severely overrating her. She is no good for me, and I have a much worse opinion than I used to on whether she's good at all.

Nate: In one sense, she is.

Gio: What sense?

Nate: The sex.

Gio: Yes, the sex is good, but not that good and, for the first time in my life, with any girl, I feel responsible for the sex not being good because I'm sure she's better at it than I am, and I can only assume-

Nate: She's better than you are?

Gio: -that's because of, yes, she's better than me. I don't think she's had more sex than I have but I can say, most certainly, she's had better sex than I have.

Nate: How do you know? Did you ask her?

Gio: Ask her? Fuck no. Why would I ask her? That'd be, like, a death wish to ask her.

Nate: Then how do you know?

Gio: "Compared to me, you know, you've had way better sex, right?"

Nate: How do you -

Gio: Are you fucking kidding me?

Nate: Okay, but if you haven't asked, how do you know?

Gio: Because of the way she acts. The way she behaves. She talks, and she moves her hips, she has great rhythm, she . . . she talks. That's how I know. Her natural reaction to sex is to enjoy it. Mine is more . . . to get it over with. That's how I know.

Nate: Your natural reaction -

Gio: Well, maybe not to get it over with, but you know what I mean. I'm not accustomed to someone being so good at sex.

Nate: So, that sounds great.

Gio: It sounds great, and it was great at first, but now, I really realize that I'm not that good at it. She has this unspoken . . . this, this expectation of what sex should be like that I just don't think I can -

Nate: Well, what does she say?

Gio: About what?

Nate: About the sex?

Gio: What do you mean, what does she say?

Nate: Does she give any opinions?

Gio: She did. Early on, she said it was great. But, they always -

Nate: They always say that.

Gio: Yeah. And she only said it early on.

Nate: I see what you're saying.

Gio: The sex is the only constant thing, though. The other night, I tried to kiss her while she was in my bed, this was even before sex, and she turned away. She told me, "I have to be honest with myself, and do that stuff because I want to, and not because I'm afraid of losing you."

Nate: That doesn't sound good.

Gio: No, it doesn't. It fucking sounds like she doesn't want -

Nate: Like it'd be dishonest of her to kiss you.

Gio: (drinks) Yes. Exactly. But not, evidently, dishonest to fuck me.

Nate: So, what, like friends with benefits? That's what she wants?

Gio: It's hard to say, because she sometimes lets things slip. The other day, we were out with Jay and I was making some joke about wanting my next breakup to be very hurtful and cruel, and she said, also joking, but she said, in front of Jay, "Maybe I should just leave now." The implication of that, obviously -

Nate: You want your next breakup to be hurtful and cruel?

Gio: No, it was a joke, but I'm saying, the implication of her response, "Maybe I should just," that implies that she would consider us as breaking up. That means she considers us together, even though she finds it dishonest to kiss me. (drinks) Isn't that fucked up?

Nate: Also, that she referred of "losing you."

Gio: Yes, right. Things like that. She implies a relationship that's deeper than the one she wants, or maybe, doesn't want. I don't know. Maybe she wants a relationship, just not right now, but they all -

Nate: They all say that.

Gio: Right. They all do. That's what I'm saying. (drinks) But I think she's genuine.

Nate: I have thought every one was genuine.

Gio: Really? I haven't. I think she's different.

Nate: I have thought every one was different.

Gio: Well, that may -

Nate: She's not . . . they're not different.

Gio: One will have to be someday.

Nate: But, presumably, that one won't refuse to kiss you on the ground that it's dishonest.

(Gio drinks)

Nate: Or, you know, one day -

Gio: I just think, like, if I wait it out, and continue to be as kind as possible to her, and try to keep the emotional, like, hardship out of our conversations, then one day she'll -

Nate: One day she'll what?

Gio: I'm just saying, this is maybe worth waiting for. Or fighting, maybe, it may be worth fighting for, or waiting for-

Nate: But how long can you wait?

Gio: -Or both.

Nate: This is the same thing that happened with Jess.

Gio: Oh, no it isn't. This is nothing like what happened with Jess.

Nate: It is, too. You're making yourself completely available, buying her things, giving her compliments, taking her places, walking with her, you know, completely available and giving her the option of just taking what she wants from it. You're not demanding anything back.

Gio: She says it's unfair for her to put me in this situation.

Nate: She's right about that, at least.

Gio: No, no. I don't want - the things I already - I don't need to demand anything, because I just like being around her. That's enough.

Nate: That's fucking ridiculous. How long can that last?

Gio: 'Til she decides -

Nate: What? That a free ride doesn't sound so good anymore, and she'd much rather - I mean, fuck. Wake up! She doesn't even want to kiss you. The best you could hope for is that one day, she regrets this whole thing. That's the best.

Gio: But, I'm saying, like what she said when we were with Jay -

Nate: No, you're overreading that shit. You're way overthinking that shit. The bottom line is, if she wanted you, she could have you, and she's not taking you, circumstances be god damned. And I hope, truly, that she regrets that one day as much as I think she should, but you are not winning any fucking points, here.

(they both drink)

Gio: I'm in love.

Nate: You're just saying that.

Gio: I am just saying that.

Nate: You always say that.

Gio: So it's either always true, or it never is.

Nate: I hope, for your sake, that it never is, because if this is love -

Gio: -this isn't love.

Nate: I hope not.

Gio: It isn't. It's not. I don't - it isn't.

Nate: You're too good for this.

Gio: I sometimes agree with that.

Nate: I understand it's different when it's just you and her, it always -

Gio: It always is.

Nate: Right. Always.